[Partnerwerks TeamWisdom Tips] Negotiation Tip 5

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NEGOTIATION TIP #5: Resist Compromise

10-Second TeamWisdom: When distributive
negotiators sense impasse, they rush to
settle. Integrative negotiators sense
potential for breakthrough and pursue it.

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Remember, "Distributive" negotiators:
- assume they are dividing a scarce pie,
- adopt a win/lose mindset, and
- intend to grab the bigger slice.

"Integrative" negotiators:
- assume they are problem solving in an
opportunity-filled universe,
- adopt a win/win mindset, and
- intend to expand the perceived pie.

Most of us have been so programmed to think
and behave distributively that our first
approach to settling a negotiation is a rush
to the middle. And "supposed" experts of all
sorts tell us that compromise is the key to
good decisions, effective teams, and great
relationships.

I don't buy it.

I see compromise as a source of mediocre
decisions, muddled teams, and arms-length
relationships. I see compromise as a personal
failure to integrate interests and outcomes.
Why? When you compromise you assume you can't
get your interests met and therefor settle
for less than you wanted. It's easy to
recognize when a group has compromised:
participants claim "At least we didn't
lose worse than they did."

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for rapid
re-solution. So, how can you resist
compromise and yet successfully negotiate?

1. BELIEVE in a integrated and mutually
satisfying solution to be found if you stay
in the negotiation together (The difference
between integrative and distributive
approaches is simply what you believe).

2. KNOW and connect your interests to your
core beliefs and values. Then bargain tough
for them. You wouldn't compromise your
values, would you? When you are crystal clear
about your interests you CAN'T compromise,
but you will be flexible in examining
alternative positions and solutions that
might satisfy your interests.

3. ENLIST your negotiation partner to join
you in raising your collective sites and
search for an mutually satisfying solution.

4. SEARCH for alternatives.

Is there ever a time when it's OK to
compromise? Of course, here are two:

1. When you value politics (parochial
interests) over TeamWisdom (aligned
interests).

2. When the negotiation is not central to
your interests, like when you give up your
restaurant preference in deference to the
team's preference because your TRUE interest
is having lunch together.

In sum, when the relationship is important,
and the negotiated solution is important,
resist compromise with everything you've got!

Get started with this week's 5-Minute
Practice Tip.

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5-Minute Practice Tip:

Step One:
Try on the integrative position of "I resist
compromise." How does it feel? Uncomfortable?
Arrogant? or honorable and integrated?

Step Two:
Commit to yourself that you'll become slower
and slower at "rushing to the middle" to
settle a conflict quickly.

When might be your next opportunity to
practice these steps? What do you see
happening?

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© Christopher Avery, 1999-2004. Permission
granted to forward in its entirety. All other
rights reserved. Contact for reprint
permission.

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Quotable: If you limit your choices only to
what seems possible or reasonable, you
disconnect yourself from what you truly want,
and all that is left is a compromise.
~ Robert Fritz

Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've
got.  ~ Janis Joplin

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