Subject: [Partnerwerks TeamWisdom Tips]HOW TO CLEAN UP BROKEN AGREEMENTS
Organization: Partnerwerks, Inc.
Welcome to Partnerwerks TeamWisdom Tips!
February 26, 2001
Written by Christopher M. Avery, Ph.D.
Published by Partnerwerks (http://www.partnerwerks.com)
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TeamWisdom(TM) Tips promotes individual mental skills and
behaviors that create highly responsible and productive
relationships at work.
In this issue:
1. 10-Second TeamWisdom
2. Welcome Notes
3. HOW TO CLEAN UP BROKEN AGREEMENTS
4. 5-Minute TeamWisdom Stretch
5. Resources You Can Use
6. TeamWisdom Quotes
7. Reader Response
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1. 10-Second TeamWisdom
To avoid abusing and losing trust, clean up all broken agreements
at your earliest opportunity.
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2. Welcome Notes
Thank you for reading TeamWisdom Tips. We appreciate that you
take interest in your own TeamWisdom. To demonstrate our
gratitude we want to offer you the opportunity to be among the
first to receive a signed copy of Christopher's new book
"Teamwork Is An Individual Skill: Getting Your Work Done When
Sharing Responsibility" to be published April 2001 by
Berrett-Koehler. We expect to ship your order in late
March.
You may reserve your copy, have Christopher sign it, save $1 off
the cover price, and receive FREE shipping and handling (sorry,
no Ginsu knives) by clicking on the following link. Then print,
complete and fax the form. Even if you aren't sure that you want
to order it, you'll at least want to click on the link below and
read what reviewers are saying about "TeamWisdom Is An Individual
Skill." Here's one review:
"The working world would literally be transformed--into a
happier, less stressful, and much more productive place--if it
were infused with the wisdom Dr. Avery brings to this
comprehensive examination of why teams work when they work (and
why they fail when they fail)."
~ Daniel Quinn, author of "Ishmael"
http://www.partnerwerks.com/ServProd/update/bookorder.pdf
Many of you have already faxed us your order. We thank you! It's
been great fun to receive them and think of you. In fact, our fax
has been one hot number this past week! We are checking the paper
and toner in preparation for receiving your orders this coming
week!
Expect the book to be in all online bookstores by April.
Partnerwerks will also offer online ordering once the book is
actually in print (but we probably won't offer to have
Christopher sign it, $1 off the cover price, and FREE US shipping
and handling!). If you want to find it at your local bookstore,
please call and ask them to stock it.
--
This week Christopher accepted another request to speak at an
industry conference. He will present "TeamWisdom Secrets of
Master Project Leaders" at ProjectWorld in Dallas on June 28.
If you wish for Christopher to present a keynote, half-day or
full-day program to your company, conference or meeting, please
let us know soon.
--
Please forward this week's issue to everyone you know who could
use more grace in their life.
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3. HOW TO CLEAN UP BROKEN AGREEMENTS
If the recipe for building trust is to make and keep
incrementally larger agreements, then what happens if you break
an agreement? One of two things can happen. Your partner can lose
confidence in you and may withhold trust, or, you can respond
immediately and clean up the relationship mess that you created.
How can you respond? Sincerely apply these four steps.
1. Acknowledge that you broke the agreement.
Make no excuses or stories, simply acknowledge that you blew it.
The first person that you have to acknowledge it to is yourself.
Then acknowledge it to your partner. When you are responsible
enough to call yourself on your mistake then your partner does
not have to pretend to ignore it, pretend to make it okay, or
confront you about it.
2. Apologize to your partner for breaking the agreement.
Sincerely tell your partner that she or he did not deserve to be
treated as they were by you. Think about how you say it. You want
your partner to completely get your apology so make sure that you
deliver the message with appropriate contrition. "I apologize to
you" may sound better than "I am sorry." Think about it.
3. Ask: What can I do to make amends?
You may think that you know how to make amends, and, yes, you
should announce that you are prepared to replace lost or broken
property. However, asking what you can do to correct places the
emphasis on repairing the relationship. Besides, it's a chance to
make a new agreement and demonstrate trust.
4. Re-commit to the relationship.
Tell your partner how important the future of your relationship
is to you and what you intend to do to ensure that you keep
agreements that you make with your partner.
If you follow these four steps sincerely and with your head held
high you'll find that you can recover from most broken agreements
(that you intended to keep) and continue to develop trust.
Get started with this week's 5-Minute TeamWisdom Stretch.
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Christopher will be speaking...
- March 19, Association for Quality & Participation,
Chicago, IL
- June 27, Project Team Genius Conference, Austin, TX
- June 28, ProjectWorld Conference, Dallas, TX
- July 24, Texas MHMR Conference, Kerrville, TX
For presentation topics see:
http://www.partnerwerks.com/ServProd/ca_talk.html
PARTNERWERKS 2001 Austin Seminar Calendar
Register today at http://www.partnerwerks.com! Enter your own
affiliate code "TIPS" when you register online to save 10%!
- Being Powerful in Any Team (http://www.beingpowerful.com),
5/16-18, 9/19-21
- Negotiating with TeamWisdom (half-day AM),
6/22, 10/19
- Team Tools For Wicked Problem (half-day PM),
6/22, 10/19
- On Purpose, 11/16
- Collaborative Leadership for Executives, 8/24
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4. 5-Minute TeamWisdom Stretch
Think of at least one relatively minor broken agreement (such as
"I'll call you") and one relatively major broken agreement
(...yes, that one) and clean them both up before the end of the
week. You can free up more energy if you do it before the end of
today.
We wish you a world of productive relationships.
Faithfully,
Christopher and Erin
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5. Resources You Can Use
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
by Miguel Ruiz, Don Miguel Ruiz
This is currently the #3 best-selling non-fiction paperback on
Amazon.com. I started hearing about this 1997 book for the first
time about six months ago. Since then, "everybody" has asked
me if I've read it. It's powerfully short and direct TeamWisdom
from the Toltec peoples. The four agreements are these: Be
impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't
make assumptions. Always do your best. It's on back order at
Amazon so you might want to check out the companion book listed
below.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1878424319/partnerofficeont/
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The Four Agreements Companion Book: Using The Four Agreements to
Master the Dream of your Life
by Miguel Ruiz, Don Miguel Ruiz, and Janet Mills
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1878424483/partnerofficeont/
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Got a TeamWisdom concern? Query the Team Advisor:
http://www.partnerwerks.com/TeamResrc/team_advisor.html
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6. TeamWisdom Quotes
"When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears
outside as fate."
~ C.G. Jung
"To err is human; to forgive, divine."
~ Alexander Pope
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Inc.
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