Welcome to Partnerwerks Collaboratory!
September 20, 1999
For everyone who desires to accomplish more with others,
Collaboratory promotes TeamAbility(TM) -- the individual mental
skills and behaviors that create highly responsible and
productive relationships at work.
In this issue:
1. 10-Second Collaboratory
2. Welcome Notes
3. Check It Out at http://www.partnerwerks.com
4. Build a Gratitude Practice
5. 5-Minute TeamAbility(TM) Stretch
6. Index to Collaboratory Archives
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1. 10-Second Collaboratory
As a wise woman once said, it's impossible to be angry and grateful
at the same time.
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2. Welcome Notes
Wow! Your positive response to last week's Collaboratory showed
in many ways. Lots of you replied to Christopher with personal
stories, insights and questions. A few of you added some
excellent postings to the Team Advisor (see URL in section 5
below). One of the posts identifies and fills in a hole left open
in last week's Collaboratory. And, we received quite a few new
subscribers. So, welcome to new subscribers and thanks for
inviting others to subscribe!
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3. Check It Out at http://www.partnerwerks.com
Acknowledge everyone who makes a contribution to your life today
with a Partnerwerks Postcard. Send 'em from:
http://www.partnerwerks.com/POSTCARDS/index.html
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4. And now for this week's Collaboratory...
BUILD A GRATITUDE PRACTICE
As we said last week, reporting problems to responsible sources
is excellent relationship hygiene. It also opens the door to more
powerful TeamAbility(TM). To truly supercharge your self-concept
and your rapport with others, you can take your potential one
step further with this TeamAbility(TM) practice:
Recognize EVERYTHING that's going well for you, appreciate its
contribution, and acknowledge it to its source.
Every success you enjoy has at least three potential sources to
recognize, appreciate and acknowledge: your Maker, yourself, and
others.
When we recognize, appreciate and acknowledge how our Maker
contributes to our success, we tap into a field of potential
infinitely larger than we could ever create by ourselves. We also
recognize our lives as unique and precious gifts worth valuing.
When we recognize, appreciate and acknowledge how our own actions
and intentions contribute to our success, we gain phenomenal
clarity. This clarity enables us to focus and accomplish more
faster, and feel like a winner. Better yet, we do it with less
stress because we're in power. Think about it: we all want to
win. (At Partnerwerks, we define "winning" as intending to do
something and doing it.) So, to feel more like a winner, it
really helps to clarify our intentions and then acknowledge when
we've met them.
When we recognize, appreciate and acknowledge how others
contribute to our successes we increase both our connections and
our rapport with them. Why? Remember our discussion earlier this
month about the integral relationship of rapport, closeness,
frequency of communication and shared reality? (Collaboratory,
8/30/99 and 9/6/99.) Have you ever NOT felt closer to someone who
told you your actions caused some happiness for them? Increasing
psychological closeness increases frequency of communication and
builds shared reality. Acknowledging others' contributions to us
helps our power expand and flow throughout the relationship.
To build your own gratitude practice, take these three steps:
(1) Choose one or more times everyday for personal reflection.
During this time, ask yourself, "For what am I grateful today?"
Write down everything that comes to mind -- no matter how large
or how small.
(2) Next, ask yourself, "Who deserves acknowledgment for each of
these things for which I am grateful?" Make notes!
(3) Then, acknowledge yourself when you have wins (i.e., when
your intentions have been met). Acknowledge others for their
actions to support your intention. Acknowledge your Maker for the
experience of your life.
Get started with this week's 5-minute TeamAbility(TM) Stretch.
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5. 5-Minute TeamAbility(TM) Stretch
1) Reflect on your criteria for feeling gratitude.
For you to recognize a contribution to your life, how massive,
unique, or original does the action have to be? Would someone
have to lay a lotto payoff on your doorstep for you to feel
grateful? Or, can you recognize small and ordinary contributions
and be truly grateful for them?
2) Reflect on your ratio of potential vs. actual acknowledgment.
Do you withhold appreciation for fear of vulnerability or
connection? Or maybe to maintain control? Or, do you express
appreciation to all who make contributions to you?
3) When you do acknowledge, do you "speak" truly from your heart?
Or, is your expression an obligatory but not-completely-sincere
gesture?
Take action!
I wish you a world of productive relationships.
Faithfully,
Christopher M. Avery, Ph.D.
P.S. Does this week's Collaboratory stir your pot? What
relationship issues face you at work? Dialogue is a powerful tool
for clarification! Please write me at cavery@partnerwerks.com to
share your insights. Or post your question about this tip on
Partnerwerks' message board, The Team Advisor at:
http://www.partnerwerks.com/What_s_Here_/Jump_In/Offices/Partnerwerks_Associates/_Christopher_Avery/team_advisor.html
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Dr. Avery is available to speak about TeamAbility(TM) to your
conference, company or group. To schedule a presentation or
consultation, contact info@partnerwerks.com. A list of
presentation topics is available at:
http://www.partnerwerks.com/What_s_Here_/Jump_In/Reception/Courses___Custom_Services/Talks_by_Christopher_Averytalks_by_christopher_avery.html
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6. Index to Partnerwerks Collaboratory archives on the web.
These archives are at the URL of
http://zip.mail-list.com/archives/collaboratory
9/13/99 Report Problems to Potential Solutions
9/06/99 Expand Your Reality
8/30/99 Flawless Rapport
8/23/99 Unity is Plural
8/16/99 Appreciating Conflict
8/09/99 Protect Others' Interests
8/02/99 It's In Your Interest to Be Helpful to Others. For Real.
7/26/99 Dual -- Not Dueling -- Values: Task AND People
7/19/99 Master Your Intentions
7/12/99 Celebrate Others' Successes
7/05/99 Integrate to Expansion. Expand to Integration
6/28/99 Living On Purpose
6/21/99 Intentional and Reactive Relationship Outcomes
6/14/99 Competitor or Antagonist?
6/07/99 Reach Beyond a "Common Enemy" for a Sustainable Goal
5/31/99 How Do You Know if Your Team is Built?
5/24/99 The Miracle of Efficient Gifts
5/17/99 Conceive New Relationships As Avenues of Contribution
5/10/99 End With The Beginning In Mind
5/03/99 All Teams Need Closure
4/26/99 So, What is "TeamAbility?"
4/19/99 The Gift of a Present Hero
4/12/99 Recommit After Making Amends
4/05/99 Ask How You Can Make Amends
3/29/99 Apologize So Others Get It
3/22/99 Acknowledge Mistakes
3/15/99 What About Their Integrity? Use Tit-for-Tat
3/08/99 Relationship Integrity Sanctions Collaboration
3/01/99 The Collaborative Leader's Most Powerful Tool: Expansion
2/22/99 The Bedrock of Collaboration
2/15/99 Keys to Extraordinary Collaboration
2/08/99 Team Power Theory of Relativity
2/01/99 Honor Differences
1/25/99 Velocity Decision Making
1/18/99 Consensus
1/11/99 Is Your Silence Consent?
1/04/99 Teammates Don't Have to Like Each Other
12/28/98 For Energy and Direction, Reorient!
12/21/98 Clear Judgments When they Come up
12/14/98 Distinguish Criticizing from Feedback (Don't Speak Until
You Do!)
12/07/98 The Benefit of Showing You Can Be Provoked...
11/30/98 Talking About Trust Breaks
11/23/98 How to Trust Just Right
11/16/98 Trust Reflects Responsibility
11/09/98 What's In It For You?
11/02/98 Stop Trying to Motivate
10/26/98 Come Together Over Commitment and the Skill Will Follow
10/19/98 Who is the Most Powerful Member of Your Team?
10/12/98 Are You Playing Too Small A Game?
10/05/98 An Upset is an Opportunity to Learn
9/28/98 Agree to Response-Ability
9/21/98 Calling Others on Broken Agreements
9/14/98 Clean Up Broken Agreements
9/06/98 The Formula for Building Trust
8/31/98 Clarity: The Source of Power
8/24/98 Teamwork is an Individual Event
Copyright 1999, all rights reserved. Permission is granted to
republish Partnerwerks Collaboratory. Please include complete
contact information about the author, Christopher M. Avery,
Ph.D., President, Partnerwerks Inc. (cavery@partnerwerks.com);
and send us a courtesy copy of the publication in which it
appears.