Welcome to Partnerwerks Collaboratory for the week of May 10, 1999
In this issue:
1. 10-Second Collaboratory
2. Check It Out at http://www.partnerwerks.com
3. End With the Beginning in Mind
4. 5-Minute TeamAbility(TM) Stretch
5. Index to Collaboratory Archives
6. About Partnerwerks Collaboratory
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1. 10-Second Collaboratory
When ending a partnership that no longer serves you, try to do it
from the mindset you had when the collaboration was most prosperous.
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2. Check It Out at http://www.partnerwerks.com
Choose among 50 best practices for building, maintaining and
ending collaborations. To link directly to the article, copy and
paste the following two lines into your browser address window:
the following two lines into your browser address window:
http://www.partnerwerks.com/What_s_Here_/Jump_In/Library/Article_Archi
ve/50_Best_Practices/50_best_practices.html
Need some help installing powerful partnering practices in your
enterprise? Partnerwerks' Powerful Partnering Practices seminar
focuses specifically on strengthening internal and/or external
supply chains. To read more, copy and paste the following two
lines into your browser address window:
http://www.partnerwerks.com/What_s_Here_/Jump_In/Reception/Courses___
Custom_Services/Powerful_Partnering_Practices/powerful_partnering_prac
tices.html
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3. And now for this week's Collaboratory...
End With The Beginning In Mind
I don't know why people so seldom end relationships well.
Maybe it's because we all want so much to win -- and endings
threaten us with losing. Maybe we're embarrassed that we don't
know how to derive any more mutual benefit from a partnership.
Maybe we're embarrassed about promises we implied and then find
we're not keeping. Maybe we're upset that another didn't live up
to our expectations.
For whatever reasons, when collaborations or partnerships cease
to serve us, most people start jockeying for position,
politicking, and blaming our circumstances on partners. Sometimes
endings even explode into battles.
Were we to describe the phenomenon analytically, we might say
that collaborative behavior tends to diminish as the outer edge
of a contract's time horizon comes into focus. No matter how
lucrative the venture may have been for both parties, by the time
the end actually comes, it's common for one or both parties to
want to get far away from the other. Psychologists use this
aphorism to describe bad ends:
We don't break up because we're fighting;
we fight because we're breaking up.
I won't pretend we can do much to avoid endings. They're as
inevitable as beginnings. But I have observed that we can improve
the quality of endings by avoiding three things:
1. unnecessarily burning bridges,
2. harming one's reputation, and
3. unnecessary inhumanity to oneself and others.
In my experience, we can expand our TeamAbility around ending
relation- ships by taking the following actions during endings:
1. Approach the end of a collaboration with the most vivid memory
possible of the positive intentions and positive results that the
partnership produced.
2. Thank your partner(s) for the opportunity, results, and trust
that they provided you.
3. Acknowledge BOTH that you don't see an immediate future that
motivates you to continue investing in the relationship AND, that
this is NOT a reason for either party to stoop to "playing below
the line."
4. Negotiate fairly and compassionately during the dismantling of
infrastructure and the redistribution of responsibilities. Pay
your fair share or more of these expenses. if you believe that
either party may feel threatened, engage a facilitator to keep
you responsible.
5. If the other party exhibits difficult end-game behavior, show
compassionate provocability (Collaboratory, 12/7/98) and strive
for resolution by de-escalating rather than escalating.
Get started with this week's 5-minute TeamAbility(TM) Stretch.
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4. 5-Minute TeamAbility(TM) Stretch
Reflect on one or more relationships that were once great
collaborations yet ended poorly or in conflict. Use your
imagination to revisit the best time of that collaboration. Now,
envision a way to use your CURRENT TeamAbility(TM) to craft a
more responsible endgame. Apply this vision the next time you
begin a new collaboration.
Share your experience with this practice, seek advice about your
situation, or join in other discussions at the Partnerwerks Team
Advisor. To go there now, just copy and paste the next two lines
into your browser's address window:
http://www.partnerwerks.com/What_s_Here_/Jump_In/Offices/Partnerwerks_
Associates/_Christopher_Avery/team_advisor.html
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5. Index to Partnerwerks Collaboratory archives on the web.
These archives are at the URL of
http://zip.mail-list.com/archives/collaboratory
5/03/99 All Teams Need Closure
4/26/99 So, What is "TeamAbility?"
4/19/99 The Gift of a Present Hero
4/12/99 Recommit After Making Amends
4/5/99 Ask How You Can Make Amends
3/29/99 Apologize So Others Get It
3/22/99 Acknowledge Mistakes
3/15/99 What About Their Integrity? Use Tit-for-Tat
3/8/99 Relationship Integrity Sanctions Collaboration
3/1/99 The Collaborative Leader's Most Powerful Tool: Expansion
2/22/99 The Bedrock of Collaboration
2/15/99 Keys to Extraordinary Collaboration
2/8/99 Team Power Theory of Relativity
2/1/99 Honor Differences
1/25/99 Velocity Decision Making
1/18/99 Consensus
1/11/99 Is Your Silence Consent?
1/04/99 Teammates Don't Have to Like Each Other
12/28/98 For Energy and Direction, Reorient!
12/21/98 Clear Judgments When they Come up
12/14/98 Distinguish Criticizing from Feedback (Don't Speak Until
You Do!)
12/7/98 The Benefit of Showing You Can Be Provoked...
11/30/98 Talking About Trust Breaks
11/23/98 How to Trust Just Right
11/16/98 Trust Reflects Responsibility
11/9/98 What's In It For You?
11/2/98 Stop Trying to Motivate
10/26/98 Come Together Over Commitment and the Skill Will Follow
10/19/98 Who is the Most Powerful Member of Your Team?
10/12/98 Are You Playing Too Small A Game?
10/5/98 An Upset is an Opportunity to Learn
9/28/98 Agree to Response-Ability
9/21/98 Calling Others on Broken Agreements
9/14/98 Clean Up Broken Agreements
9/6/98 The Formula for Building Trust
8/31/98 Clarity: The Source of Power
8/24/98 Teamwork is an Individual Event
I wish you a world of productive relationships.
Faithfully,
Christopher M. Avery, Ph.D.
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6. About Partnerwerks Collaboratory
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source as (c) Copyright Partnerwerks Collaboratory, 1998, 1999.