Partnerwerks Collaboratory for the week of November 23
In this issue:
1. 10-Second Collaboratory
2. About Partnerwerks Collaboratory
3. How to Trust Just Right
4. 5-Minute Practice Tip
5. *SPECIAL SECTION* Reader Distinctions
6. Index to Collaboratory archives on the web.
_________________________________________________________________
1. 10-Second Collaboratory
To optimize the results we get from trust, we actually have to
trust a little too much.
_________________________________________________________________
2. About Partnerwerks Collaboratory
Partnerwerks Collaboratory is FREE. Forward Collaboratory to your team,
family and friends so they can subscribe.
Collaboratory is published weekly for anyone who shares responsibility
for getting things done and especially for graduates of
Partnerwerks' popular corporate seminar Project Team Leadership.
Our purpose is to provide distinctions and tools for building
responsible relationships at work.
What does Collaboratory do for you?
What relationship issues would you like to explore?
Reply to collaboratory@Partnerwerks.com and let us know.
_________________________________________________________________
3. And now for this week's Collaboratory...
How to Trust Just Right
Most of us would like to be more trusting. It's just that we've
had experiences with others that left us "holding the bag..."
Well, one thing's for certain: we can't change others. But we can
change ourselves. So, to be more trusting, it's wise to look at
how our trusting goes wrong.
There are only two ways that trust goes wrong: we can trust too
much or too little. That's it. Unfortunately, as most of us
struggle to trust "just right," we usually err in the direction
of trusting not too much, but trusting TOO LITTLE. Think about
it. In the organizations you know, do people exhibit too much
trust or too little?
Here's how I think it works: When we trust too much, it costs us:
time, money, results or credibility. Worse, we judge ourselves
and we judge others. That is, we feel like a chump because we
should have seen it coming and we're embarrassed because we
imagine others saw it coming and think we must look like a fool
to them. Worst of all, we make and must hold some negative
judgement against the person we trusted too much. At least, this
is how it usually feels to me. Is this close to your experience?
Most of us work in environments where there's a premium placed on
always being "right." In such places, trusting too much and being
burned is seen as a mistake - and mistakes are seen as being
"wrong." Dramatic feedback and consequences are common in such
cultures. So, the most popular strategy is usually, "At all
costs, trust too little."
When we trust too little, the feedback we receive isn't nearly as
obvious as when we trust too much. When we don't trust enough,
the evidence is seldom immediate or directly linked to our
choices. But, just because the evidence is indirectly linked
doesn't mean there aren't very REAL costs to lost opportunity,
mediocrity and less-than-optimum team performance.
So, how can we learn to trust "just right" when we get dramatic
feedback and consequences for trusting too much and only indirect
feedback for trusting too little? It's actually pretty easy:
start with small agreements and DARE to extend trust beyond your
habitual comfort zone. If you follow the Partnerwerks' formula
for building trust (9/6/98 Collaboratory), you'll seldom -- if ever
-- get over-extended. And, if you are left holding a little tiny
bag every now and then, a fast application of the 6-Step Feedback
Process is a quick and sure way to share responsibility for the
clean-up.
Get started with this week's 5-Minute Practice Tip.
_________________________________________________________________
4. 5-Minute Practice Tip
Scan your work environment and locate a situation in which you
withhold trust from your team because you MIGHT be shown to be
wrong if you trust. Imagine -- and calculate -- the lost
opportunities and their very real costs. With this tangible
information in hand, design a different approach and begin making
agreements which will give you a chance to practice trusting
"just right."
_________________________________________________________________
5. *SPECIAL SECTION* Reader Distinctions
In response to last week's Collaboratory, "Trust Reflects
Responsibility," a friend who is an excellent software development
director/team-builder added:
The Trust-thing builds on another humanological truth: people
tend to live up to expectations but not much beyond them. So, as
I honor others with my trust, they tend to recognize it and
respond in a manner worthy of the "honor." When I withhold
trust, that same person may see my action as an invitation to go
behind my back or worse yet, to "wrestle in the mud."
Thank you to this reader for the reminder that other people
are often a mirror in whom we see our own reflection.
_________________________________________________________________
6. Index to Collaboratory archives on the web.
These archives are at the URL of
http://zip.mail-list.com/archives/collaboratory
11/16/98 Trust Reflects Responsibility
11/09/98 "What's In It For You"
11/02/98 Stop Trying to Motivate
10/26/98 Come Together Over Commitment and the Skill Will Follow
10/19/98 Who is the Most Powerful Member of Your Team?
10/12/98 Are You Playing Too Small A Game?
10/5/98 An Upset is an Opportunity to Learn
9/28/98 Agree to Response-Ability
9/21/98 "Calling" Others on Broken Agreements
9/14/98 Clean Up Broken Agreements
9/6/98 The Formula for Building Trust
8/31/98 Clarity: The Source of Power
8/24/98 Teamwork is an Individual Event
I wish you a world of productive relationships.
Faithfully,
Christopher M. Avery, Ph.D.
_________________________________________________________________
Anyone may subscribe to Collaboratory. It is free. Registered
subscribers may re-publish Collaboratory subject to acknowledgement
of the source as (c) Copyright Partnerwerks Collaboratory, 1998.