Jim: What is the most effective way to help a person move out of the “deep victim” stance into a more self-responsible way of being?

Ron: How do you get a team leader to acknowledge the concerns of the team members. Many of the questions and issues are passed over because of “time constraints”, no closure and team problems fester?

Geoff: How do we identify the 20% of people in an Organisation that will embrace ‘responsibility’ and change the environment for the other 80%

Samantha: I enjoy my work in HR, but sometimes it seems like there are so many boundries/barriers. Making choices help us to grow but can be scary as well. I want those who I support to know I can add value. I feel that team work can help in building more self confidence for hard choices. Can you speak to this?

Paula:  I have at least a couple of co-workers (peers) who communicate and energize martyrdom. I attempt to ignore this and do avoid rewarding it verbally . And, in my mind, I a am frustrated with it. Any thoughts on how to grow an environment that encourages people to ask for help and communicate issues early?

Luis:  Procrastination is one of the biggest obstacles that we have to overcome to take 100% ownership. What is your advice on fighting against it?

I appreciate you. And I appreciate your interest in how personal and shared responsibility works in the mind. People like you joined me today for a solid hour of my best information about leading, teaming, and succeeding through 100% ownership. It’s live, no-cost, and completely driven by your questions. You were there right? Or are you already enjoying the life, work, and relationships of your dreams? If not, what’s your #1 question about increasing your freedom, power, and choice — about overcoming any challenge and achieving anything?

Ask Christopher Avery Details

• Date: Every second Tuesday of the month
• Time: 6PM GST / 1PM EST / Noon CST / 11MST / 10 PST
• Register: http://www.AskChristopherAvery.com/
• How to listen: Register for dial-in instructions

Feel free to gather your team around the conference table and take advantage of this no-cost team development opportunity. Lots of teams did that today all over the world.

Rave Review

Here’s an email I received from Alissa Beeler in Tennessee after last month’s Ask Christopher Avery tele-clinic:

Dear Christopher,

I did hear your broadcast and really appreciated your response. Your answer was terrific! Yes, I took notes! And am starting my Responsibility Practice TODAY!

Thank you for your great ideas, perspectives and most of all for being willing to go over this information again and again until we “get it”. We do have the best of intentions, but being human, we tend to rationalize and find we have drifted so far away, or just plain “forgot” our intent.

You are exactly right – this needs to be a daily practice with it “in your face” and I really like the accountability of the score-keeping game. I have down-loaded the poster as you suggested on the call and am putting copies in several places to remind me. I have your book as well.

Thank you so very much for sharing yourself and your perspective. And please keep those great tips coming.

You sir, are definitely one of those people of integrity with a very valid moral compass and stand as a shining example.  Thank you!

~Alissa Beeler, Tennessee

This week’s questions

Maria:    Christopher, I very much enjoy listening to your tele-clinics, and have found them very helpful, with practical advice I can apply.  Last month I asked a question related to older children; you gave a short (v. helpful to “carry with”!) answer in the last minute, but said you may try to elaborate in the next clinic.

Belinda:  What one thing can I do be more consistent in taking personal responsibility? Paula:    What are some ways to move out of justify?

Drew:    In a professional management setting, does delegation equate to taking full responsibility?

Zachary:    How can I endow employees at all levels with a sense of personal responsibility?  I have tried conveying the importance of all tasks, how even small ones effect the whole project either negatively or positively.

Joe:    Can you get these teleclinics in mp3s?

Pam:    How do I get my team to share a vision about what our team’s responsibility is to the larger organization?

Lyz:    How can I coach my team to be responsible?

Jim:    What is the most effective way to help a person move out of the “deep victim” stance into a more self-responsible way of being?

Ron:    How do you get a team leader to acknowledge the concerns of the team members. Many of the questions and issues are passed over because of “time constraints”, no closure and team problems fester.

Geoff:    How do we identify the 20% of people in an Organisation that will embrace ‘responsibility’ and change the environment for the other 80%?

Samantha:    I enjoy my work in HR, but sometimes it seems like there are so many boundries/barriers. Making choices help us to grow but can be scary as well. I want those who I support to know I can add value. I feel that team work can help in building more self confidence for hard choices. Can you speak to this?

Register for next month’s Ask Christopher Avery right now.

Here is a “kudos” received soon after the show:

I submitted a question for your Tuesday broadcast yesterday. This was the one about knowing something logically yet not actually incorporating into your actions – self-sabotaging.

I just wanted to let you know I did hear your broadcast and really appreciated your response. Your answer was terrific!  Yes, I took notes! And am starting my Responsibility Practice TODAY!

Thank you for your great ideas, perspectives and most of all for being willing to go over this information again and again until we “get it”. We do have the best of intentions, but being human, we tend to rationalize and find we have drifted so far away, or just plain “forgot” our intent.  You are exactly right – this needs to be a daily practice with it “in your face” and I really like the accountability of the score-keeping game.

I have down-loaded the poster as you suggested on the call and am putting copies in several places to remind me. I have your book as well.

Thank you so very much for sharing yourself and your perspective. And please keep those great tips coming.

I would also like to comment on your post of Jan 6, which I just read yesterday, about taking a stand on integrity. That you would not accept an assignment to “change them” if the executive wasn’t willing to “change self” first.  The next sound you hear will be that of a standing ovation from this end!
<sound of thunderous applause>

May integrity be the next viral marketing! May it spread through our leadership at an unprecedented rate and may it give corporate leaders the backbone to make the hard decisions they have avoided for so long -OR- to move on to something else and let people of integrity fill their shoes. Please understand that I don’t mean that as blame! Just as facing facts!

You sir, are definitely one of those people of integrity with a very valid moral compass and stand as a shining example.  Thank you!

~ Alissa Beeler, Tennessee

Thank you Alissa. I appreciate feedback, and especially feedback that tells me to stay the course.

Here are the questions I addressed in this segment:

Q: I know logically many of these things. My struggle is to actually reprogram my mind to these new ideas and ways of thinking and not self-sabotage my efforts. Can you offer some advice to help me get these new ideas to replace/reprogram the old ones?

Q: What is you’re book about?

Q: Is there a difference is your processes when dealing with children rather than adults? If yes, to take it further is there a difference in younger children vs. say teenagers in the thrall of hormone swings? Trying to achieve work life balance includes dealing with these issues at home.

Q: How old would you suggest a child / teen be in order to begin to learn about personal – shared responsibility and 100% ownership, and how would you suggest beginning to help them learn (i.e., teach) about it?

Q: As a parent, I want to let my children (young adults, in my case) decide for themselves, take responsibility, see the consequences of their choices – respecting their freedom and dignity as persons – but yet I keep asking myself, “How can I tell them this so they will understand the value or the good sense of it, so they will make the right choice”, or “I need to remind them of this, in case they forgot”, or “Have I already told them this? If not, I need to….” — because I feel it is my responsibility as a parent to teach them and to pass on any wisdom gained. And so it feels like a never-ending battle. What would be a better approach?