Jim: What is the most effective way to help a person move out of the “deep victim” stance into a more self-responsible way of being?

Ron: How do you get a team leader to acknowledge the concerns of the team members. Many of the questions and issues are passed over because of “time constraints”, no closure and team problems fester?

Geoff: How do we identify the 20% of people in an Organisation that will embrace ‘responsibility’ and change the environment for the other 80%

Samantha: I enjoy my work in HR, but sometimes it seems like there are so many boundries/barriers. Making choices help us to grow but can be scary as well. I want those who I support to know I can add value. I feel that team work can help in building more self confidence for hard choices. Can you speak to this?

Paula:  I have at least a couple of co-workers (peers) who communicate and energize martyrdom. I attempt to ignore this and do avoid rewarding it verbally . And, in my mind, I a am frustrated with it. Any thoughts on how to grow an environment that encourages people to ask for help and communicate issues early?

Luis:  Procrastination is one of the biggest obstacles that we have to overcome to take 100% ownership. What is your advice on fighting against it?

Q: Why do so many folks refuse to accept personal responsibility, preferring to pass blame onto their spouse, business partner, children, etc.?

Q: Any suggestions for using the Responsibility Process to help oneself overcome inertia and start taking action on business goals, rather than simply studying, learning, and having analysis paralysis?

Q: How do I retire in a responsible way from a volunteer team where I play a crucial role & maintain relationships.

Q: In our choice to operate from a position of responsibility with our senior parents my husband and I would like your input on how to Honor our parents when we do not agree with their choices or belief system.

Special guest Mr. ElderCare joined me to offer his views on this question.

Q: How does one install personal responsibility in one’s 12-year-old children (twins)?

Q: How does the Responsibility Process deal with a persons truth, particularly when you agree with that truth, but recognize they are not taking 100% responsibility and staying stuck behind that truth?

Submit your question now at http://www.AskChristopherAvery.com

PR: wait…

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Q: Christopher, how can we use the Responsibility Process™ in the Federal Government?

This question comes from a serious student of Responsibility Redefined™ who is employed in the Federal Government, and I’ve had a number of similar questions recently (more about that below), so I addressed it. I answered:

A: You already are (using the Responsibility Process in the Federal Government).

Think about it.

The Responsibility Process is inside you and everyone, even workers in the Federal Government. It regulates how we each choose (generally unconsciously) to avoid or take responsibility for our lives and situations. So you can’t not use it every moment, unless everything in your life is always perfect.

The Responsibility Process is a relatively recent discovery (follow the links to learn more about the Responsibility Process) about how we respond to mistakes, upsets, and issues in our world. We are just learning how to direct and apply the power of the Responsibility Process. So far, we’ve had amazing results using Responsibility Redefined as the central organizing principle in a team leadership skill-building curriculum, as a self-leadership practice, and as a culture-shaping tool. We’ve also discovered quite a bit about how to teach people about their own Responsibility Process.

So, about the Federal Government, consider why someone would ask about using the Responsibility Process in a specific industry sector. What’s the underlying assumption? Slow to change? Poor working conditions? Bureaucratic? Poor leadership? Stultifying management? Un-enjoyable workplace? Dis-engaged workers?

I can only speculate. Two weeks ago I was visiting the Federal Government of a neighboring country (to the USA) introducing Responsibility Redefined to 7 top officials. They loved the concept, were very interested, and posed a similar question. One said: “I suppose this is much more likely to be effective when introduced in the private sector?”

To which I answered: I can imagine leaders in the private sector may be quicker to want to learn about Responsibility Redefined™, but that does not mean the Responsibility Process is any less operative in the public sector. In fact, the assumption that the public sector is a place where people can not be expected to be interested in taking ownership shows that the Responsibility Process is sorely at work… if you know what I mean ( i.e., cultural conditioning toward Denial, Lay Blame, Justify, Shame, Obligation, and especially Quit).

So back to my answer to the Ask Christopher Avery question. I said that since the Responsibility Process is already at work everywhere, then the questioner might consider his or her workplace to be prime real estate for developing awareness of Responsibility Redefined. I reminded that Responsibility Redefined is not a management tool. Rather it is a self-leadership tool that invites others to follow you. I suggested the questioner could teach it to peers, and could start a leadership study group.

And lastly, I suggested the questioner could procure an invitation for me to introduce Responsibility Redefined™ at a government leaders conference. It is interesting that I’ve had audiences in two national governments in the last year, neither of which has been the USA.

You ask questions. I answer them.

Go ahead. Try me. Ask me anything about personal or shared responsibility.

A data-base collects and identifies the most frequently asked questions during the month. I answer as many as I can. This week I addressed six. Here they are:

1. How can I motivate myself to BE responsible when I just don’t feel like it? Whether it is lack of buy-in or I don’t think that the effort is meaningful or worthwhile.

2. What about leadership? Can it be learned? Tell us about the individual skills of a leader.

3. What would be the first three actions a staff person (field training consultant) could take to introduce Responsibility Redefined™ to a group virtually. I’m not in the same physical location as the customers I serve, and have very limited travel resources…

4. How do you motivate business leaders to seek mastery of ‘responsibility’ when they are typically rewarded for demonstrating ‘accountability’ – assuming accountability does not equate to responsibility..

5. What is the newest thing you have learned?

6. You talk about provocability. I’ll be honest, that’s a hard skill to master, especially when it’s my boss that I most often get provoked at. How do you recommend I get started breaking down this internal barrier?

All Ask Christopher Avery audio MP3 replays, including this one, are archived. Download them immediately for only $10 each. You can buy the audio MP3 replay for the June Ask Christopher Avery, where I answer the above questions, directly from this blog page. Just click the button..

You can also pre-purchase the audio MP3 replay for the next call for $5 (after you submit your question). You will receive access within 48 hours after the call. Why not do what many busy people do. Submit your questions, pre-purchase, and listen at your convenience.

Register now for the next Ask Christopher Avery free live tele-training is July 8, 2008, then every first Tuesday of the month thereafter.

Ask Christopher Avery is the monthly forum (every second Tuesday) where you interview me by asking your burning questions in advance and I answer as many of them as I can in an hour. If you want to:

• get things done with others,
• master your life
• overcome great challenges,
• learn and grow faster, and
• understand what personal responsibility really is and how it works in your mind…

You will want to make Ask Christopher Avery a priority on your busy schedule. (Of course you can invite your team.)

Where else will you find such leverage in an hour? Even if you are triple-booked for that time, please go ahead and register and find out how to get the audio MP3 replay. Okay?

Where liability is involved Deny! has been the professional advice for eons. Even when great surgeons (for example) made an obvious blunder, they were pressured for liability reasons to deny it: “I’m sorry Mrs. Smith, I have no idea how you could have ended up with three surgical sponges where your gal bladder was before I removed it.”

It happens in every field, every role, every relationship, and in every business at every level. You and I call it “not owning up.” (And you and I do it too, if not so publicly most of the time. And by the way, not taking ownership is still unrelated to age, race, sex, intelligence, education, financial or professional success and social status).

But many doctors, their hospitals, attorneys, and insurers are experimenting with what responsible leaders have always known, that sincerely acknowledging “I goofed and I want to make amends” works. The injured softens and lowers their sword because the mistake-maker owned up and indicated an interest in wholeness, integrity, and taking responsibility.

Maybe responsibility is the best policy (with a hat tip to Liberty Mutual)!

Neither strategy—denial versus owning up—is completely certain except for one thing: Acknowledging the truth mentally and emotionally frees, expands, and empowers the one who does it.

What are the Responsibility Redefined Lessons?

You are human therefore you make mistakes. When you screw up and deny it, you trap yourself in a cage from which you cannot escape—that is, until you own up (to yourself at the very least). Much mental energy is required to hold the lie (and much energy in organizations with less than highly-responsible cultures is trapped here). Then you act in strange ways in order to protect the lie, often causing more collateral damage… (wonder why Responsibility Redefined™ releases so much performance potential in teams and organizations?)

Release it. How? By facing the truth (own up, face the music, see it as it really is).

The third of the three Keys to Responsibility™ is Confront, as in to confront the truth. Philosophers and psychologists tell me that we resist doing this with all our might. But when we are willing to face a truth that we could not—or would not—previously see, we experience personal growth, immediate transformation, a new expansive perspective from which to view the world. We lead ourselves to newfound freedom, choice, and power.

Acknowledging, owning mistakes, and apologizing is not the only way to practice Confront, but it is a great way to learn to build the courage incrementally to confront anything, any time. To be ready for anything—to increase your ability to respond.

Let those who hold onto their denial believe they are getting away with something. You’ve got something better to pursue.

© 2008 Partnerwerks Inc.

Got something “stuck” in this area? Send me your most pressing question, then join me for
my next Ask Christopher Avery Tele-training on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 to have more of what you want!