Not Confronting May Lead To Quitting

Guest Post by Cathy Laffan

Christopher Avery here. With pleasure I welcome Cathy Laffan to this blog. Cathy is an innovative executive with a global financial services firm. She shares a love for responsible leadership. Read more about Cathy at the end of her post. Enjoy

I found The Leadership Gift™ Program at a time when I was experiencing a difficult professional situation and looking for a path forward.

Through my participation and practice, I have peeled away the layers of hurt, Denial, Lay Blame, Shame, Justify, and Obligation to find my way back to the real me.

Looking back, I can now see how my unwillingness to confront my situation as my own led me up to the threshold of ‘Quit.’ I was on the verge of walking away from a successful 24 year career.

Not confronting this situation almost lead me to quitting.

Over the course of a year or more, there had been many upsets, which created opportunities for me to confront things that felt unacceptable. But I didn’t.

Instead I got caught up in repeating a pattern of feeling wronged, assessing what happened, seeking validation that I was wronged from others, and then being on high alert for the next unacceptable situation to occur.

This cycle of what I now realize is a form of self-abuse was sucking the very soul right out of me.

Through my practice of The Leadership Gift, I came to the disturbing realization that I had allowed all of this to occur, and then reinforced it.

This realization was an awakening of sorts from which I have found a path forward. And this path led me to review and recommit to my core values, demands, wants, and needs.

One morning, a few weeks ago, I sat down at my desk to start my work day and a feeling came over me that I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was the feeling of me being myself again, instead of carrying a heavy burden that comes from living below the line of Responsibility.

It was in this moment that I finally realized the feeling that goes with Christopher Avery wishing that each member of The Leadership Gift community would experience being “free, powerful, and at choice” – ahh what a feeling!

What aren’t you confronting? What are the consequences for not confronting?

“When you know better you do better.” ~ Maya Angelou

Cathy Laffan

Cathy Laffan is a member of  The Leadership Gift™ Program and recently accredited as The Leadership Gift Practitioner. She is a Managing Director with 24 years of experience working for a leading global financial services firm. She has 20 years of experience in the project management field and is certified as a Project Management Professional.

A champion of flexible work arrangements, Cathy has been working remotely full-time for 4 years. Cathy is also a Toastmaster and has earned the Competent Communicator and Competent Leader designations from Toastmasters International.

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4 Responses to Not Confronting May Lead To Quitting

  1. Cathy,
    Thank you for sharing your feelings in a public forum. I believe that women in particular feel they have to “keep taking” the frustration, disappointments, and all that goes with that.

    You have proved that after self-evaluation it is possible to make your current situation work.

    And yes, I want to know more about the Leadership Gift Community!

  2. Christopher says:

    Cathy, thank you for an extremely well-told tale of rediscovery and renewal. I know the journey was not as simple and direct as the delicious summary offered here.

    And Mary Lu, thank you for recognizing the power of Cathy’s experience and story and for acknowledging her for telling it. I applaud you.

    Information about The Leadership Gift Program is readily available:

    To your freedom, power, and choice,

  3. Jessica Soroky says:

    Great post Cathy!!

  4. Ari Tanninen says:

    I am feeling kind of dumbfounded. I know the cycle you are talking about. One time I have managed to shake it off and start pursuing things I actually want, career-wise. But now I have slipped right back into the cycle, even though I promised myself not to do so again.

    This was a good reminder. And it is nice to know I am not alone. Thank you, Cathy!

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