In my email newsletter today I invite readers

Can social responsibility really be achieved through corporate policy? I firmly believe social responsibility only flourishes from a base of personal responsibility. That means we must scale responsible behavior starting with ourselves, rather than scaling process or policy.

Here’s a tough question to ask yourself: Are you lending your skills to, and taking a paycheck from, a leader, organization, or clients with whom you are not totally aligned in terms of the true net value (i.e., taking into account the costs to people and planet) they are adding to society? Why?

What if we each just stopped working for such employers?

What do you think? Leave a comment.

P.S. See the rest of this email newsletter.

“Constructive” criticism is still criticism. Instead of criticizing, “feed back” your responses with compassion.

A huge block to giving others feedback effectively is our addiction to criticizing (i.e., providing criticism).

When we criticize, our tonality (if not our words) assigns others to a potentially harmful status of being — i.e., being “wrong.”

No one likes to be labeled as being “wrong.” Most people get defensive when they’re labeled, even when they’re sure they’re not “wrong.” And people feel defensive, they block messages.

So, unless you’re trying to not be understood, criticism is less than effective as a communication strategy.

And, it doesn’t help to call it “constructive” criticism by saying, “This is for your own development….” Criticism is criticism. It blocks understanding.

So what replaces “constructive criticism” for the responsible team member? Compassionate revelation (i.e. telling your truth with compassion) is quite effective.

Compassionate revelation is the essence of feedback. It’s the process of pointing out the consequences of someone’s actions on you or someone else.

My dictionary defines feedback as “the return of part of the output of a system to its input.” This is exactly what we do when we feed the consequences of someone’s actions back to them.

Now, with this distinction in mind, step your way through the 7-Step Feedback Process and see if it isn’t easier to apply.

This Week’s 5-Minute Practice Tip

Notice when you begin to assign someone the condition of being “wrong” and remain silent until you can compassionately feed back to the person the results of their behavior on you or your teammates.

Hint: Criticism usually includes phrases like, “You are (favorite judgement here)” or “This is (favorite judgement here).” Feedback includes phrases such as “When you (specific action here), I (your response here).”

Christopher Avery, PhD, is a recognized authority on how individual and shared responsibility works in the mind and an advisor to leaders worldwide. Build a responsible team (or family) and master your leadership skills with The Leadership Gift Program for Leaders.

Click image to see full size

On September 2, 2011 I was in Ashtabula, Ohio where I lived from the age of 7 into my college years. The high school alumni association called me to be inducted into their Hall of Fame for my work with the Responsibility Process and Leadership Gift.

Click to see full size

Other honorees included Captain Jed Larsen, (me), Vicki Sussman, Francis Montanaro, Craig Walrath, Paul Lewis (represented by his daughter). Not pictured are James Bollman and Dr. William Evans.

We each addressed the high school juniors and seniors (I showed a couple of Thom’s Responsibility Man videos.) Then we were treated to a luncheon as well as honored at the fifty yard line during the season-opening football game that evening.

Thanks to my wife Amy, son Thom, and brother Fred for traveling with me; to Stuart and Kim Cordell for hosting us; and to Virginia Buona and Norma Lillie — my second Mom’s during all those years — for attending.

Thanks to Mario too.

Comment below to encourage Thom and give him your thoughts about where this series should go.

I hope we kept what was most valuable to you. If not (or if so) please let me know — use the comment section on this post or the contact form.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

from
There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery
by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Join me in Comfort for Global Educator’s Academy November 9-11 and maybe we’ll see another sunset just like this at the closing barbecue.

I’ve been asked by Kent State University Ashtabula, a regional campus of the Kent State University system, to attend commencement exercises on May 14, 2010, be honored as the former student of the year for 2010, and give the commencement address. I attended this campus for two years, from 1975-76 and 1976-77.

They are going to throw a reception for me and want to invite friends around Ashtabula. I’m supposed to provide a list of names and addresses by April 3. I’m contacting everyone I know in the area, but I’m sure there are some I am missing. So if you happen to be near northeast Ohio and want to come to the reception, commencement, or both, let me know. I’d love to see you.

There are also Linked-In and Facebook events posted about this.

I lived in Ashtabula for 14 years, from 1963 when my dad was transferred there from New York City, through 1977 when I moved to Bowling Green, Ohio. I don’t return very often. I’m looking forward to reconnecting with some former friends and mentors — like parents of some of my friends and faculty and administrators of my high school and KSU.

When Shelly called back she said Michelle did not know she needed to dial a “1″ at the beginning of a long distance number. I’m guessing that’s  the cell phone culture at work.

What do you think?